A millennial woman has gained viral attention for comparing marriage to a group project—an analogy that has struck a chord with viewers online, and sparked a wider conversation about the nature of modern dating.
Rebekah Buege, 32, shared her thoughts in A Teltok Video under @rebekahbuege that has since been viewed more than 391,000 times.
In the post, Buege told her followers: “Marriage is the ultimate group project. The thing is you get to pick your partner. As a straight A student—always have been, always will be—why would I partner up with someone who isn’t also a straight A student? I have to see the transcripts. I have to see the proof.”
“I’m not surprised thousands of women resonated with my perspective here,” Buege told Newsweek. “Women have been frustrated with the lack of effort, intentionality, and follow through from their relationships with men for decades.” The video has sparked waves of applause in the comments, with many viewers praising Buege’s clarity and confidence.
But beneath her humorous tone, lies a pointed message about standards in relationships and the cultural shift that is giving women more freedom to be selective—or remain single entirely.
@rebekahbuege
“We are finally reaching a cultural moment where women can stay on their own and still have a comparable level of economic opportunity that men do while single,” she said.
“Women are taking advantage of it rather than caving to the pressure of being part of a ‘group project’ with someone who doesn’t contribute at the same level.
“They shouldn’t be shamed into settling.”
Buege clarified that the analogy is not about academic achievement, but rather shared effort and values.
“Some people have taken the analogy quite literally to mean A+ students should only date other A+ students, like in an academic sense,” she said. “Which I suppose can be an indication of how organized or committed a person is, but it’s definitely an analogy to me.
“You may have gotten C’s in geometry,” she continued, “but if you’re emotionally available, supportive, and know how to make your partner feel valued, you might be their ‘A+ student.'”
Buege began posting about her experience as a happily single woman in her 30s, offering personal insight and commentary. She says reactions to this particular post revealed how many women feel pressure to explain their relationship status.
“When you’re a single woman, especially in your 30s, people dump labels on you like ‘high maintenance’ or ‘too picky’ when I genuinely don’t see it that way,” Buege said. “This post in particular is an analogy I’ve used within my own mind to quickly justify my ‘high standards’ in dating.”
For Buege, the video offered a quick way to reframe what some see as pickiness as simply holding her ground.
“It’s lighthearted, but hits home for someone like me who works hard, invests in personal growth, holds myself to a high standard, and has been a target for low-effort men to ride my coattails,” she said.
“I refuse to change my life into a group project with someone who’s not interested in, or capable of, doing their part, just to conform to what society thinks I should do at this age.”
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