In May 2018, I was scrolling through prospective dates on Bumble when I saw Charlie’s profile. I could tell we had a lot of immediate connections. He had worked for human rights organisations, travelled a lot and even had interesting profile pictures. I swiped right.
Later that day, we met at a small bar close to my work in Melbourne for a drink. Even though it was a good first date, I decided I didn’t have the energy for more dates straight away and cancelled our second one. I think he thought I was a bit of a time waster.
A month later, I was visiting family in Perth and my mum asked if I was seeing anyone. I expressed frustration that it’s so hard to sort through all the garbage on dating apps – but there was one guy I’d met who seemed lovely and had a beautiful smile. So when I got back to Melbourne we met again for dumplings, and it was on.
After just six months together we moved into his one-bedroom bachelor pad. That was a massive mistake. We did it way too fast and immediately started squabbling. It was just too soon for two very independent people who had spent a lot of time building up their own lives to be suddenly trying to mesh them together.
By March 2020, our bickering was at an all-time high. We decided to see a couples counsellor before going on a one-month trip to South America – we didn’t want to ruin the trip for ourselves. I remember immediately disliking the counsellor, which I think was more about what she revealed about us. At the end of the first session she just looked at us and said she didn’t think she could help because we were too far apart as individuals for things to work out. We were like, that’s really bad!
Before we left Australia we’d heard murmurings about this new virus emerging but we were feeling smug that we were escaping. After five incredible days hiking across Patagonia, we found ourselves bunkering down in a small hotel room in Punta Arenas as the news of Covid spread across the world.
Flights were cancelled, borders were closing, we had desperate messages from friends and family. We were freaking out. It went from a complete state of relaxation and wonder at the world to OMFG the world is melting down.
Charlie was way more relaxed about it than me. He was like, we’ll be OK. It just wasn’t in his realm of possibility that we wouldn’t get home. So while I was contacting embassies, trying to change flights and reaching out to friends and family to figure out our way home, Charlie was happily imagining our new life in Chile. “Babe, imagine how good we’ll get at Spanish,” he said. A line I’ll always remember.
In the hotel room in Punta Arenas I knew that if the world was ending, as it felt like it was, it was him I wanted to be next to. Charlie was making us go on walks, making up songs and cracking jokes the whole time. He was bringing me out of my anxiety loop. We balanced each other out perfectly in that crisis, on opposite ends of the scale.
Eventually, we got seats on one of the last flights back from Chile before the borders closed. We were waiting on standby at the airport, and we only got seats on the flight because two temporary residents were booted off when the rules changed and only permanent residents could get back into Australia. It really was the most bonkers time.
Charlie proposed in July 2020 and we eloped in December 2020.
I thought our time in Chile was going to be the worst thing we would go through – but we have faced many difficulties together since then.
Through it all, I’m always so grateful to have him by my side. We never went back to that couples counsellor.
